dlvby:

A whole year, gone. It’s the same remorse he feels at the end of every round of 365 days. He had turned 21, made friends, passed that difficult number systems class, and finally drank his first beer — then spat it right back out. Three hundred sixty-five days, and yet there was not one thing he was really satisfied with. And perhaps he would make resolutions, the same ones as the last. And he was almost sure he’d end up in the same place as now. The vicious cycle.

His wrist snaps a couple of times as the soda can in his hand twirls around. The smallest sigh from the can comforts him in some odd way. Some New Years party this was. He had found more room to breathe up here, on the rooftop, although the wind was an awful companion. He sat silently, the background noise being that of the blaring music from inside the house. For a brief moment, he had second thoughts about joining the rest of his friends. To just let alcohol take over his systems — as foul as the liquid was. He could stop thinking about negative things for at least one night. But then what would he do about tomorrow?

The footsteps of someone else stirs him, and he spares a glance behind. It’s only Tina, and he relaxes once he hears her sweet voice — he’s grown too comfortable around her. No, he had always been comfortable when it came to her. She has been much like the younger sister he never had. Her words cause him to smile, and he gestures with a hand for her to come sit by him. “Reflecting.” The gray skies are lit up by sudden bursts of colors which then disappear after forming intricate patterns. His skull nods over to the source, smiling. “And watching the fireworks too.” There’s some sullen mood layered on his tone of voice, and he wants to be more optimistic, especially in front of her.

“You know, now that I think about it — this year wasn’t a complete mess. I met you. That’s enough.” And he truly means his words.

“That sounds fun, I guess it’s better than the party inside…” Tina mumbled thoughtfully. Honestly, she hadn’t want to join the new year’s party. The crowds, the drunkards, and the occasional guys who came up to her in an attempt to hit her up were plenty of reasons to not come, but under her friend’s influence, she decided to give in for once and see how everything went and she was glad that Mikoto came.  

“You know, you should save those sweet words for your girlfriend Shiba-chan” Tina teased and nudged his shoulders playfully. Her cheeks turned red at his words, but hopes that he assumed that the redness of her cheeks were merely from the cold weather as she took up the seat next to him. During these few weeks, she had gotten closer to him emotionally and even made up a silly nickname for him Shiba-chan. It was a nickname that was given to him because of her love undying love for Shiba-inu and how his constant cheerful personality reminded her of her favourite dog. However, contrary to his usual cheerfulness, his tone was laced with a slight tint of down-beat and Tina’s lips downturned at his deep, untouchable thoughts. It was during these times that Tina wished she had the power to read minds, since Mikoto had this unreadable face that Tina couldn’t decipher. The more she watched him, the more she was at loss at how to cheer him up.

Uncertain, Tina just did the first thing that came to mind. After a few moments of silence and fidgeting, she eventually reaches over and takes his large hand in hers. “I’m sure there are other things that made your 2014 more memorable right? Don’t be sad okay? Lets uh – make 2015 even better!” Tina’s voice was adamant and encouraging with a few stutters from nervousness as she petted his large hand. His hand was rough, callused from his work, yet she could tell he was a gentle person like the time they had first met. She held onto his cold hand against her warm ones, hoping that she could bring some sort of warmth or support, even if it was the tiniest bit.   

“But, you know. Ever since I was young, my only New Year’s resolution was to give wishes to other’s. It was to wish that everyone would find their own path one day, and achieve their own goals no matter how difficult it was. It’s stupid right?… I mean, you’re supposed make a New Year resolution for yourself, but instead, I made resolutions for other people instead.” Tina rambled thoughtlessly and concentrated at the sparks that occasionally lit the moonless sky, afraid that Mikoto may be annoyed with her thoughtless rambles. “So, this 2015, I hope that we make great memories together, cry together, laugh together, and I hope you will discover joy in the smallest thing in life despite the hardships” She whispered softly, but loud enough for the other to hear.

“I’m sorry… what am I even saying – nevermind” She quickly added and went quiet, anxious that he might’ve been looking at her oddly.